Smokey the Magnificent

Wanna see my knee-bruise? Of course you do.

Innit!

This week I have decided to be virtuous. No news really, it’s rare I enter a Monday planning to be lax and dissipated; but there you go. In the interests of which, I have made a shocking Challenge: this week, no non-work-related internet. Except emails. And my blog, of course. But nothing else. I can look up nineteenth-century hairstyles for the purposes of writing Suite articles about them, but the minute I get distracted looking up old Empire interviews with Colin Firth or Googling photos of UFOs, off to the hot rack and the Iron Maiden. K? I have cold chills just thinking about it.

In other news, last week I discovered the disconcerting fact that my usually respectable mother would consent to having a sapphire prominently embedded in one of her front teeth for a million dollars. Would you?

I went ice-skating today! It was my first time, leaving aside an inauspicious incident in my youth; given which, I feel I did quite well. By the end of the session I had developed a relatively efficient method of kicking off with my right foot - purists, I am told, use both, but it turns out I’m astonishingly non-ambidextrous and my non-dominant leg just couldn’t take the limelight - and was beetling around the centre of the rink like a fish. A gimpy fish. With a bruised knee and probably shattered coccyx.

I wanna do it again! As soon as my knee heals up, that is; I can’t be oosed taking a photo of the bruise right now, but it made Helpdesk Man go “whoa” and my family treat me with unaccustomed respect. Sunset hues, sunset hues…