Smokey the Magnificent

Failing the Turing Test since 1986


Last week Miles pooped while having a bath with me and the pig. I’m not sure what was more depressing – finding myself suddenly in a poop-infested tub, or realising that I didn’t actually care that much. Come parenthood, “It’s only vomit” is a necessary attitude to survival; “It’s only urine” is passable; but when you get to the stage of thinking “It’s only poop”, you have crossed some sort of line. You will probably never wear mascara again.

Also, I have two questions.

1. If you were a ten-year-old child, would you rather lose both legs and your sense of smell, or both parents? I asked an impromptu* panel that, and the results were.. interesting.

2. Would you willingly die that all the fish might live?

*Reluctant is probably a better word.

  1. rbjaneite

    Gracious, #1 is rather interesting. Considering Mother reads the comments here, I shall go with option a. I possibly would anyhow, but it is a difficult one.

    #2 – no.

  2. smokering

    No? But think what would happen to the ecosystem if all the fishies died. Not to mention the sushi industry.

  3. Betty Scandretti

    Option a, absolutely. I had a horrible recurring nightmare about losing both my parents, and one sibling, as a child. It was you. Horrible. I didn’t like it.

    I spose I might die for all the fishes, if someone could make a jolly good case; especially if I were a legless ten-year-old with no sense of smell.

  4. smokering

    Pfft. I killed practically all of you in a dream once; with a gladius. The Romans made me. It was fairly nasty, though.