[Sung by Edward, or similar]
When you wake up
Yeah, you know I’m gonna be
The shadow in the corner watching over you
When you go out
Yeah, you know I’m gonna be
The hooded figure softly slinking after you.
If you get drunk
Yeah, you know I’m gonna be
The man who buys a bottle of absinthe for you
And if I haver
At the corner of the bar
The girl I call my snickle oodlekums is you.
And I would kill a hundred fish
And I would kill a hundred more
Just to be the man who killed two hundred fish
And left them at your door
When I’m working
Yeah, you know I’m gonna be
The man who sells illegal kidneys just for you
And when the money
Comes to me from Shady Fred
I’ll mug him for his cut and pass it on to you.
When you come home
Yeah, you know I’m gonna be
The one who euthanised your goldfish just for you
Did your dishes
Rearranged your DVDs
And drew a poem on the mirror just for you.
And I’d decapitate a pig
And I’d decapitate one more
Just to be the man who put two headless pigs
Outside your bedroom door…
[Edward, or similar, staked by Buffy: FINIS]
Merry Christmas!
