Occasionally when the dreary futility of life gets me down and I find myself pondering how wizened my knees will look at eighty, I go to TipNut and laugh at the tips.
To soften butter, for instance, it is recommended to take a butter curler or grater to it in order to increase its surface area and susceptibility to atmospheric variation. To which I say: Dude. Fling it in the microwave if you were dim enough not to get it out ahead of time (don’t feel bad, I never remember).
And to soften hard brown sugar, all a harried housewife has to do is this:
Buy a clay disc or if you have a pottery piece on hand (from a broken clay pot, etc.), set it in water for about 30 minutes. Dry the piece so it isn’t dripping wet. Put the clay piece in a container with the sugar and seal. Check after a few days. Keep the piece in with your sugar for months if you’d like–will keep it soft.
Am I just ridiculously lucky, or is hard brown sugar less of a global pandemic than TipNut’s 15 tips on the matter would suggest? Can anyone raise her hand if she’s ever actually found rock-hard brown sugar to be an issue? And keep it up if she’d rather go through the above process than simply stab the stuff with a fork? I didn’t think so.
And then there’s the recipe for “Real Whipped Cream”. “Recipe?” thunk Smokey upon reading this, being the kind of domestic cherub who whips up marinades with a slosh of this and that, all but twirling the pepper grinder. (Helpdesk Man was once impressed by this to the point of imitation, and gave Smokey the Magnificent’s husband-made morning sickness scrambled eggs a dash of red wine vinegar just to be arty. Friends, do not do this thing.) It turns out “Real Whipped Cream” has gelatine in it. Yummers. Better, however, than the imitation variety, made with sugar, egg whites and “2 large ripe bananas, sliced”. The mind reels.
TipNut also provides its readers with various recipes for homemade veggie washing solution. As opposed to buying it, presumably. That way lies madness.
I feel better already.
Mother Says: