Smokey the Magnificent

You know how people do things like reading the Thousand Books You Must Read Or Out Yourself as a Prole list, or wearing the same pair of Spanx for a year to protest the girdle industry, or vowing to eat no more dairy than can be produced by keeping a cow on their patio? And then they blog about it, and end up on Oprah, and write a book based on the blog called My Year Pretending to have Astigmatism: A Social Study, and become enormously wealthy? Yup. Well, I don’t think I could be oosed actually doing that, as it would require a modicum of effort (and look at me, I’m about 8000 words behind on NaNoWriMo). But if I did, here are some things I might do (but again, and this is important to remember, probably won’t):

1. Read through the entire adult fiction section of the library, A to Z, in alphabetical order, and make pungent comments on my blog about the new authors I had thusly discovered, as well as making arty charts showing the percentages of various plots, genres, stereotypes etc within said books.
2. Take a photo of my squish every day for a year and watch it expand and contract interestingly according to my diet and gluten intake and such. (Could be depressing, though.)
3. Attempt a different hairstyle every day for a year, photograph the results and make tutorials of the process (not a bad idea for a niche blog, actually. My photography’s rubbish, though…).
4. Watch films in chronological order from the very earliest motion pictures to the present day, choosing five of the top-box-office movies worldwide per year (at least, from when they started having a box office). Make sage comments about how films are not what they were.
5. Make a reproduction Gucci handbag, Christian Dior dress or similar object using only items gleaned from the neighbor’s trash and a bucket of mod podge. Do this once a week, prompting Thoughts about Waste and the like.
6. Try to stretch a single chicken into a year’s worth of meals. (I suppose the key would be to start with a live one and eat the eggs.)
7. Live solely off free food samples from the supermarket.
8. Read the religious texts of every major or semi-major religion… the ones that have texts, anyway - and draw deep theological conclusions from therein.
9. Take videos of self performing random acts of Broadway song in public places. Tenuously link this to anti-terrorism or the Universal Power of Song to break down barriers, find true love, get self arrested &c.
10. Attempt to teach the snortlepig one new animal a day, until she can name the obscurest members of the animal kingdom at an impressively tender age.
11. Track down classmates from primary school to make a point about Internet safety, the academic standards of said primary school, rates of early marriage among Dutch Reformed Christians, etc.
12. Declutter household down to a fixed number of items (say, 200).
13. Write a sonnet every day based on the news headline in the local paper.
14. Go on a quest to educate cafe owners in my town about how to make a decent iced chocolate. Become the Internet authority on the subject of NZ iced chocolates; add video tutorials to the website, and end up being flown down to Wellington by restaurants on a regular basis to review their iced chocolates and thus give them the coveted Smokey Seal of Magnificence.
15. Boycott all words derived from Romance languages to make an obscure political point.
16. Campaign for a knighthood, then insist on being knighted as Sir Smokey. (I’d totally do this if it ever came up, incidentally. Refusing knighthoods is weedy and smacks of false modesty and/or communism, but a firm yet tactful insistence on being Sir, not Dame, is all about equality. Dame Smokey. Eugh. Who needs it?)
17. Refuse to look in a mirror for a year and note impact on self-esteem, muse on body image and tally embarrassing spinach-between-the-teeth anecdotes as they occur. (Difficult to implement, though. Would have to avoid shop windows, driving and the like. Not that I drive anyway.)

Any further ideas?