In Which Smokey the Magnificent Crosses a Line By Posting Photos of Her Dainty Knee on Her Blog

July 12th, 2009

Wanna see my knee-bruise? Of course you do.whacking great knee-bruise of doom

Innit!

This week I have decided to be virtuous. No news really, it’s rare I enter a Monday planning to be lax and dissipated; but there you go. In the interests of which, I have made a shocking Challenge: this week, no non-work-related internet. Except emails. And my blog, of course. But nothing else. I can look up nineteenth-century hairstyles for the purposes of writing Suite articles about them, but the minute I get distracted looking up old Empire interviews with Colin Firth or Googling photos of UFOs, off to the hot rack and the Iron Maiden. K? I have cold chills just thinking about it.

In other news, last week I discovered the disconcerting fact that my usually respectable mother would consent to having a sapphire prominently embedded in one of her front teeth for a million dollars. Would you?

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9 Responses to “In Which Smokey the Magnificent Crosses a Line By Posting Photos of Her Dainty Knee on Her Blog”

Mother Says:

But only if it was flush with the surface of the tooth and not in any way sticky-out. As I said at the time.

July 12th, 2009 at 8:15 pm

Miriam Says:

Whoa, that is an über bruise. I am jealous.

July 12th, 2009 at 9:52 pm

AprilElf Says:

So you get a sapphire and a million bucks? I think that’s a win-win situation.

Ouch-eeee! What a mighty bruise! What did your knee connect with - the ice or the sides of the rink?

July 13th, 2009 at 1:06 am

smokering Says:

Yes, but you’d be known for the rest of your life as the girl with the sapphire in her tooth. And people would make bluetooth jokes. And it might get caviar stuck in it.

My knee connected with the ice… repeatedly. I also have a grazed ankle from the skate rubbing, generally sore muscles from unaccustomed movement, and a warm smug glow of virtue on account of the latter.

July 13th, 2009 at 3:37 pm

AprilElf Says:

I like sapphires! Though in a tooth it might appear black rather than blue on first sight, so that might look a bit yuck.

I remember the skates rubbing on my ankles when I went ice skating too. But only realised it was painful when I stopped skating.

July 14th, 2009 at 10:29 pm

Miriam Says:

It’d be better than an emerald. You could go for one of those cornflower blue sapphires, rather than a midnight blue one, April, then it shouldn’t look too dark.

What about a *whole sapphire tooth*? Like, if you needed a false tooth, just having it made of a sapphire instead of enamel or porcelain or whatever they use? Would that be better or worse?

July 14th, 2009 at 10:43 pm

smokering Says:

You’d have to make sure you chewed with your mouth closed, or you might be able to see the food through the tooth, if it were a paleish sapphire. (Ceylonese, those are; I have one.) And that would be nasty.

Also, I think topaz would be the worst, or yellow sapphires. But I’m not keen on yellow gemstones at the best of times.

July 15th, 2009 at 12:17 am

Kovac Says:

I wouldn’t think that the gem would be embedded right through the centre of the tooth or provide a visible path to the inside of your closed mouth.

Wouldn’t it be more of a surface attachment to the tooth?

I would hesitate to get such a piece of ostentatious “bling” for fear that I would be taken for a gangster and killed in a drive-by shooting.

July 16th, 2009 at 9:14 am

smokering Says:

I was referring to Miriam’s question about having a whole sapphire tooth. But I suppose the gangster thing is a valid concern, unless you simply learned to smile with your mouth closed.

July 18th, 2009 at 12:29 pm

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